Pretty perfect weekend.

Bought myself flowers on the weekend. Some anemones, lisianthus and a big white hydrangea. I also bought an obscene amount of cheese. It was so sunny and beautiful out that I walked around for a good 4 hours. The results were felt as soon as I stopped walking and my leg muscles started doing this weird twitchy thing as if to say "Lady what were you thinking using us for so long without a break!"

Winter makes me forget that I am happiest outside in the sunshine walking about.

Sunday we met with the photographer I liked. I don't know why but when I meet professionals I suddenly become tongue tied, I cannot get a word across that doesn't make me seem like I eat saw dust for breakfast. She's really nice and was super helpful. Her portfolios are awesome. I totally forgot to ask to see a complete shoot, isn't that one of the rules?

I made up my mind pretty quickly that the photography would be the biggest expense for us. The luxury I suppose of having a really small Friday wedding is that a lot of the big expenses are gone leaving extra over for things I really hold important and those things are a fraction of the price! Huzzah!

We spent Sunday afternoon in a corporate box for the Toronto Raptors game. I admit I don't think I've ever watched a basketball game once. Other than it had a ball, some baskets and some very tall men I knew little about the game. I'm happy to say I really enjoyed it. I always find big sporting events incredibly surreal and they seem to bring out the ADD in me I just look around the arena and then remember what I'm there for. It's truly sensory overload. Of course it doesn't hurt that we were treated to unlimited snacks including warm cookies and our pick of ice creams! The game was most exciting during the last quarter when the Chicago Bulls shot a 3 pointer right as the buzzer went tying the game! The Raptors won in the overtime but for a while there my heart was pounding and I even threw my fists in the air when they regained the lead!

I got a package in the mail.

The dress arrived!
It's lovely. It's a bit big but it drapes nicely over my body and the colour is really nice, sort of a candle light colour if that makes sense which is very flattering on pasty white me.
I like it, but I don't LOVE it. I could easily wear it, but my heart doesn't belong to it. I tried it on and I was just like "Well it looks nice." I wanted to look in the mirror and feel something but I didn't. I just felt like I feel when I try on a nice dress. Does that make sense?
I want a dress that says "Hi I'm getting married today!" I want a dress that makes me feel special, stunning and like a bride.
Most of all it just didn't feel like me. I felt weird and old in it. Maybe it was the floor length, I don't think I've owned a floor length dress...hmmm ever! I felt a bit like I was a kid wearing my mothers formal gown playing dress up. Maybe it was because it came in a box to my work. I think what I'll do is try it on again in a couple of weeks and see how I feel about it then.

Week 5...well I'm still alive.

Well I knew it would happen eventually. I gained weight. I think it's mostly water weight and maybe even some muscle because the fat percentage part was down more! Ok, so for the sake of being completely honest I'm going to tell you that the first time I did the fat reading it was a 39.6% yeah almost half of my body was fat. That image is pretty bleak. It's been steadily falling over the last 4 weeks last week if I remember correctly last week it was 34%. This morning it told me I was only 31.4% fat. Sweet! I know scales aren't 100% accurate in these readings but down is still down right?

Next week I'm going to start upping my exercise. I'm aiming to walk for an hour or more each day and spend at least 20 minutes on the elliptical machine and do one of my dvd's 3 times a week. I figure if I aim to do a lot even if I only end up doing half of that I'll still be good! I'm happy that winter is over so I can get back outside again!

Friday frustration.

Every week around Thursday I ask The Mister the same thing.

"What is going on this weekend?" This weekend I knew that there was going to be another beer brewing on Saturday and we have an appointment with a photographer on Sunday, so I was sort of asking what else needed to be done. So when he answered and said "Well brewing on Saturday and a record show on Sunday" I was thrown for a loop. See record shows take hours for him. Hours of flipping through bins and looking at labels and pressing numbers and all sorts of weird nerdy record collector stuff. So I was surprised when he told me as there had been no mention of it in the last few weeks.
"Well what time is that because we're meeting the photographer at 2:30"
"Noon, but I made plans for this weeks ago, can't we change the time we see the photographer? Why don't we go see her tomorrow?"
"No, I made this appointment two weeks ago, I asked you if it was fine, you agreed on the time."
"Well I forgot about the record show!"
We were in bed when this conversation was happening so I couldn't storm out of the room or even throw my hands up in the air. Instead I said "I'm glad to know that records are more of a priority than our wedding."
"Why do we have to meet her? Can't she just show up?"
"No."
At this point he said "I guess I can go to the record show earlier."

I'm sort of even wondering why were bothering to get married. Why even spend 2500 bucks on something it seems only I'm into? I could spend that money on shoes I could spend it one going to Paris..alone. I could spend it on braces for my teeth! I can think of about 2500 things to spend it on!
Why is everything suddenly an uphill battle? I've compromised and compromised and he doesn't even care.

Something Blue.

Because I hate just leaving up bitchy sounding posts, I thought I'd follow that last one really quickly with this one. This is another dress I will most likely hunt down and try on. It might be too fancy to wear at a mid day ceremony..but really I don't care! It gives me a sort of saloon girl vibe and I sort of dig that. Also the layered tulle makes my heart race a bit and you can't see it in this photo but the shoulder action is really hot. It makes me wish I has somewhere fancy to go so I could wear this and I mean like big dinner fancy not like Whole Foods fancy, although maybe with the right shoes I could totally rock this while buying some corn pie and organic milk.

Image from Neiman Marcus

Mother of the Bride..bleh.

(This is how I feel right now.)

I have at best a weird relationship with my mother. It's not strained but it is not healthy. It's really hard to explain without dragging out all that baggage...let's just say that if you watched a movie about our relationship you would watch it peaking through your fingers and then afterwards you'd tell everyone that movie you saw was funny but also it made you nervous.
Except she doesn't actually know that. Somehow she remains blissfully clueless about how much money in therapy she has cost me. Like I said it's incredibly weird.

So after not talking to me for several weeks she calls me tonight and I ask her about telling my Aunt about the wedding because of the email I got from my second cousin. Turns out she decided to tell everyone that I was getting married in September and there was going to be 40 people invited. I realise she has mishmashed together bits of the various things that I have told her but it was never going to be 40 people this fall. Then she goes "Oh so my sisters aren't invited?" I again explained the reception next year to her and she says snippily "well then who are the people invited?" ARGGGHHH. I've told her this about 10 times already! I will admit that she didn't know about having tea, but the last plan she knew was the same people who are invited to the tea except it was going to be dinner.
Then she asks me if I'm tired because I sound tired.
Um no I sound like I am clenching my freaking jaw because I am about to scream and smash the phone repeatedly into the wall.
Then she changes the subject to something she is looking at because that is her M.O

Then I called my sister and we bitched about it for a bit.

I heart Yoo.

I got the email today that my J.Crew dress has been shipped! I'm tempted to bring my Spanx in to work so I can try it on when it arrives!

Buying a dress without trying it on is scary so I have some back up dresses just in case I try on the JCrew dress and look like two pigs wrestling under a blanket.

I'm all sorts of in love with this dress from Jenny Yoo. Her name is Paige and she has pockets, she looks vintage but isn't she sort of has sleeves but doesn't really. She falls below the knees. I'd just throw my pearl necklace on and suck it up and buy the matching earrings and were off to the races...or the altar..whichever. Since my pearls are pink I'd get pink shoes to match! She's simple and classy.

Now in Googling this dress I did find a post on a blog that had the bridesmaids try on this dress and it didn't flatter any of them(their words not mine) The one thing that sort of irks me a bit is that if I got this dress in one of the bridesmaids colours in the same fabric it would be about a 100 dollars less. Yes Jenny Yoo is a sneaky snake and ups the price of the white and off white dresses and calls them "Bridal Alternatives" It's still a deal at 425usd though.

The other dress I lurve from Jenny Yoo is this one on the left. Her name is Jocelyn and she's a bit more modern looking than Paige but I still dig her. She has pockets too and she looks a bit more fitted in the chest area, which is something that I'd be worried about on Paige. She looks a bit shorter than Paige but not by much. I dig her little keyhole neckline and I'd probably attach something at the top of it, like a sparkly pin, a tiny bow or one big pearl. I'd wear her with silver flats and a really big beautiful bracelet and red lipstick.

Gosh I never thought I'd be at a point in my life where I referred to dresses by name like they were friends of mine.

Dear Emily Post.....

I opened up a new post because I was going to write about colours or maybe hair dos or something style related.
Just before I started writing though I checked my email and found this from my second cousin...

Hey!!! I just was informed that you have a date? and that your having a small wedding in Sept, I would understand, but I do hope that I am invited :( but I promise that I would understand totally! Anyways on a better note let me know the details...

My dad's sister is her grandmother, we were really close when we were children as she is the cousin closest in age, but I haven't seen her in over ten years at least! She didn't even come to my sisters baby shower last year when the rest of her family did.
My aunt isn't even invited! Am I crazy or is this a fail in etiquette? Obviously since we are having only our parents, siblings and best friends there that is what I'm going to reply with because it's the truth. I know these relatives might be the ones whose noses are put out of joint because they have accused me in the past of thinking I'm too good for them.

I swear next post will be about hair or makeup or colours!

I think theres something in the water...

Right now I am a bit woozy.
Because see this?

Yeah I just bought it.

I had put this photo in my favorites on Thursday along with the short version and two Jenny Yoo dresses that I dug(Which I'll still post about because they are dynamite!). For some bizarro reason on the wedding page of J.Crew this dress is priced at 395.00. But if went to the SALE section she was hanging out for only 129.00. I seriously had to do a triple take.

I have no clue how this will fit, what it feels like, if it will even be flattering!

It didn't say final sale so I suppose if it makes me look horrid I could return it or if I find something else I LOVE I could just get it dyed and shortened a bit or I could even resell it.

I just couldn't pass it up. Fingers crossed!

It's sooner than I thought.

In one hundred and sixty seven days I will be getting married.

It's funny how when we first got engaged our time line was spring 2010 and our budget was 10grand. I'm not even sure when our budget got chopped to 6500 but suddenly I was brainstorming DIY ideas and cutting our guest list.
Then all of a sudden it was 2500 and the wedding was this fall on a Friday afternoon followed by dinner...then it changed to tea. We only made the switch to high tea after realising that the only cuisine that everyone across the board seemed to like was Italian and our favorite Italian places were either closed for renovations or in Montreal. Also people tend to drink at dinner and even if certain relatives swore up and down that they wouldn't get drunk I could not trust them to do so. Tea instantly got rid of that option. There will be two glasses of champagne but that is it.

It wasn't a matter of we couldn't afford our first and second options which is probably why I had such a hard time wrestling with my emotions over giving them up. Certain traditions that I was so looking forward to, first dance, cutting the cake, dancing with my father, now are all gone from my actual wedding day. Sure we will most likely do them next summer at the reception party but will it feel the same? I'm not sure. I'm incredibly fearful that the reception party won't even happen. It has to happen though. Has to. Here is one reason why....

Image from: Better Homes and Gardens
Seriously if that cake is not at the reception party I will shed many tears. I will make it a special invitation and it better RSVP yes or else!

.4 is a number still.

First off I have to apologize for the craptacular photos of my scale each week. See, I weigh myself first thing in the morning and want to upload the photo here right away. Since my regular camera requires me to turn on the computer, attach cables that I can never find and mess around with files, it's much easier for me to snap the photo with my cell phone. Which does have a 3mp camera in it. Which I laugh about because I read this old issue of Bust magazine I had from years ago and they were talking about these new digital cameras and a top quality one was 3mp and cost about 700 dollars!
I digress. It's also hard to take the photo because after about one second of showing my my weight it then flashes the weight 4 times so I have to press the button leaned over and hope that I get the numbers at the right time. It is quite the production for 7am in my bathroom! Anyhoo..lets get on with the show.

Ok, so I only lost like .4 of a pound. Seriously though I was fully prepared for a bit of gain. St. Patrick's day saw me eating basically a loaf of grilled white bread, crab cakes and several Guinness. I also had a chocolate chip cookie from this really awesome bakery that I didn't even know did chocolate chip cookies and I've been particularly lazy on the exercise front..ok all I did was walk around a bit.

I'm not beating myself up over any of it, .4 is still .4 you know. Even more impressive is that I'm down another point on the body fat reader! Hooray!
So the tally for a month of weigh ins is 6.6lbs! WAIT! It's not week 4 of dieting! So the loss is reflective of 3 weeks meaning on average I'm losing 2.2lbs a week a totally healthy amount!

Please excuse the excessive use of exclaimation marks.

Oh it's closer than I thought.

Things to do before September 4th.

Find a dress. Should I get something made? How much will that cost? Should I buy off the rack? Should I buy something I can wear again and again? How much should I spend? Should I buy that really awesome red Nanette Lapore dress? Do I wait until I'm 10lbs lighter? AGH!

Find an officiant. Non religious. Likeable. Etc.

Find a place to hold ceremony. Seriously the few places I've found charge an hourly rate but a minimum of 3 hours...making it silly to rent for one hour. I'm going to try to work a deal since it is a Friday afternoon and all.

Figure out ceremony. Will my dad still walk me down the aisle? There has to be music! Will I still have a bridal party? If so won't it be weird to have basically no guests because they are all in our bridal party?

Flowers. OK I have this figured out...lots and beautiful.

I've already got a photographer who were meeting with next week and the reception tea booked at the Windsor Arms and will now spend the next 170 odd days growing more and more anxious that I am forgetting something very important. Like pants.

Anyone know about trees?

Totally random and weird...but does anyone know what a Japanese Lilac tree smells like? The city is replacing my tree with one but I'm afraid it's one that I think stinks. I know it doesn't smell like Lilacs but all the info I've read just says slightly fragrant or people love it or people hate it.

I wanted to replace it with a white oak but they would have to do it next spring.

Yes these are the things that keep me up at night!

And just like that....

I'm not sure when it happened, maybe when I took a serious look at what was going on in my head versus what was going on in our bank accounts, but I finally realised that the one thing I didn't want to do was have a wedding that left us with staggering debt. Debt is not the way to start a marriage in this economy, at least it isn't for me. If there is one thing that has been drilled into my head from reading financial self help books it's "Do not live beyond your means" which I try to abide by.
I also realised that even though I know that I could DIY a wedding worthy of Martha Stewart I probably wouldn't be able to handle that sort of extra stress and could easily see myself having a bit off more than I could chew melt down. So I sat and surfed and thought for a while. I researched even more, I wrote out lists and lists and when I thought I didn't need another list I made a list of my lists.
One thing that had always bothered me was that if we had a traditional wedding it would have to be in the spring of 2010 at the earliest. Autumn is our season. It is when we started dating, it is when we fell in love, it's when we moved into our house, it is when we got engaged. Autumn is our season for so many reasons and it pained me to have a spring wedding when I always wanted an Autumn one. It is also our 10th anniversary this year. We have been together longer than some people are married. All of these things led us to a date. We decided.

Friday September Fourth

Because the Friday closest to our anniversary was September 11th but we liked the look of September 4th as it would most likely always fall close to or on Labour day weekend. It is also exactly 10 years and one month after we first met as well as exactly 10 days before our anniversary. I like the multiple tens. Within two days of deciding on a date we decided on having a high tea reception after the ceremony with just family and closest friends. The biggest factor though is that next September 4th we are going to host a reception party at our house as the majority of the work will be done. There we will renew our vow, hopefully with our newborn child in attendance. Oh yeah I got it all planned out!

A hint.

Things are coming together......here's a hint.

Ok so it's not really a hint is it?

Wedding Discussion...a play in one act.

Act One.
Scene One.
Opens on a kitchen. Woman with glass of red wine in hand leaning against door frame looking perplexed and frustrated. Man with glass of beer leaning against counter. Looking clueless.

Woman: So I talked to the photographer I told you about and she can totally come up with a price that relates to our event.

Man:I'm not paying more for the photographer than for everything else. She only needs to take photos of the ceremony.

Woman(choking on wine.): It's our wedding! We need photos!!!

Man:I know but negotiate. I say we pay no more than 700 dollars. It only makes sense.

Woman(gulping back wine and reaching for more.):How does that make sense?!?!

Man:Well if Saturday costs 1500 dollars for 6 hours then Friday should be less than half that.

Woman:I am not skimping out on the photos when I am skimping out on everything else!

Man:You won't even negotiate!

Woman(Wishing she had more red wine, perhaps an I.V full of it.) The only thing that matters to me more than the whole married bit is the documentation of it.

Let's just say that one of us has artistic vision. The other freely makes fun of artists.

It's Friday and I'm in Love!

Last nights diet version of fries supreme was AWESOME! It totally hit the spot and even though the portion size was very small it was filling and delish! This past weekend I diverted a bit from my healthy eating as we ended up spontaneously going over to a friends house for pizza. Before we left I ate a big salad and told myself I would only have one slice, some how I did. I ate it incredibly slowly, so slowly that The Mister was like "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to!" and everyone else was on their 4th slice while I was still taking tiny bites and savoring every bit of pizza goodness. Of course the friends had dropped by a bakery on the way home and picked up some cupcakes. I told The Mister I would split one with him and I had about 1/4 of a lovely red velvet cupcake with some of the best icing I have tasted in this city. That was it though, even though a giant bowl of chips was brought out I didn't have one. I sat as far from them as I could and drank my wine and my giant glass of water. So lets get to the weekly photo....

Honestly when the numbers came up I thought to myself "What is that weird "S" thing in the middle?" it truly took me a moment to realise that it was a 5! I stared at it and then stepped on again and there it was again. I cannot tell you how weird it was to see the number 5 as the middle number on my scale. Reaching the 150's, even if it's basically the highest I can be in them makes me do a little dance. I told myself I wouldn't try on dresses until I was below 150 and apparently that is only like 9 pounds away! OH!

Fast Food Diet Style..

Right now I'm making a healthy diet version of fries supreme..no that's not an oxymoron.
I admit right up front that I am PMSing big time and the urge to lock myself in a closet and eat a bag of chips, a chocolate cake, poutine, pizza and wash it all down with several giant milk shakes is pretty much consuming every thought right this second.
But I haven't so instead I thought "what can I make a healthy version of?"
I'm not following any recipe and it very well may turn out to be the worst tasting idea ever.
Here's the recipe breakdown:

Fries = sweet potato slices baked in oven spritzed with olive oil.
Refried Beans = red beans heated up, mashed with some garlic and then lightly cooked with another spritz of olive oil.
Cheese sauce = low fat shredded mozzarella.
veggies = veggies.
Sour Cream = plain low fat yogurt.

Yeah. So....I'll report back later to tell you if it's edible!

Beauty inspired by beauty*

If you haven't taken a gander over at 100 Layer Cake then I suggest you get your over there now!

Every post makes my heart pitter patter a bit more. It's beautifully curated, I tried to think of a different word but it really does seem like a well curated collection.

This inspiration board is perhaps what I've been waiting for, not just for my wedding but for my home and well... my whole life! It makes my mind reel with possibilities. A cream dress with seafoam shoes, bridesmaids in terracotta and rose boys in ink with seafoam ties.

These flowers...

Yes sir I'm in lurve. Now we just have to agree on that pesky date thing.

(* Inspired by Kittens Inspired by Kittens..go watch it now!)

BEST MONDAY EVER!

Normally I hate Mondays. Mondays means I'm as many days possible away from the weekend.
blah.
This Monday though is totally going down in the books as the BEST MONDAY EVER!
Today I found out that not only am I getting a raise but I'm also getting a bonus!
I seriously thought about dropping to my knees and weeping with joy but instead I looked at wedding and food blogs and various other pretty websites that may or may not have contained shoes.

Honestly I didn't expect either. In this economy I am just happy to have a job to show up to every day when so many people don't.

In wedding news: We're still hashing out the details but we MAY have a date and a plan. This is the way we are. We talk then go and think about it separately then come back to the table and talk some more. There are pros and cons to our plan and we(ok I) have to make sure that I am happy that the pros out weigh the cons.

Grow your own!

I love gardening. The only good thing about winter in my mind is the onslaught of gardening catalogs that arrive at my door. Looking through them and circling things I want is one of the only things that keeps me sane during the horrid snowy season! This summer I will be planting a GIANT garden. I am in LOVE with oversized flowers. The bigger the better! When my garden is eventually finished(a term I use lightly because a garden is never truly finished and always changing!) I want it to feel like you've entered a magical Wonderland meets OZ meets English cottage, where your senses are turned on their head and there are secrets to find everywhere. Since we have decided to hold a reception party at the end of next summer this gives me two gardening seasons to get as close to that as possible.

Here are some of the beauties I plan on planting this year.

Top Row: Pink Baby's Breath, Sunburst Orange Prima Donna Dinnerplate Begonia, Queen of the Prairie

Middle Row: Star Dahlias, Jean Marie Dinnerplate Dahlia, Supersized Dahlia Mix

Bottom Row: Chocolate Cosmos, Peony Mix, Ranunculus

The dinnerplate and supersized varieties have blooms that are up to 25cm across! How sweet will my niece look carrying a single bloom that is half her height! I just about fell over with the sweetness of that image! Also I hadn't really notice before but apparently my garden is going to be shades of pink, red and orange!

All images: Brecks Bulbs

Note to self.

Dear Self,

Do not walk by the three wedding dress stores that you HAVE to walk by to get dog food. Come up with a different route or wear blinders or have the food delivered.

Love, You.

PS. please remember to breathe.

You could say I'm having some difficulties letting go.

A happy compromise..

Gosh men are funny.
I think because they are not as into weddings as the lady folk that in general they just don't know what things cost for weddings. They know it's expensive but that's about it. When I told him the price of a photographer he basically had a stroke. Then I explained to him that the price I just gave him was about half the price of most photographers! I'm just resourceful and found someone up and coming(but more on that later!) He couldn't understand why the photographer and the rental of a venue were basically the same price.
I could hear the frown lines forming on his face!

I laid out a plan I came up with for him. I said "If you want we can get married with just our families there this September for our 10th anniversary, we'll do it on a Friday, then September have a big reception party at our house." I said as long as we get to celebrate with our friends and family then I'm ok with that. I had originally wanted to get married at home but with the amount of work the house needs to host such an event well, if we did all that we wouldn't have money to host the darn thing! So that brought us to a stand still. I'll admit that the economy also played a part in our compromise. I have this fear that if we handed over a deposit to a vendor and one of us lost our jobs then we'd lose the money that we would need. The thought of that happening left me anxious and dizzy.

I'm still going over the logistics of a September semi-elopement in my head. I had some rules for it happening which I'll explain later.

After our talk something weird happened though. The Mister was smiling, something that he hadn't done any other time I talked about weddings. He started talking about brewing a special beer for the wedding and for the reception party. He actually got excited about it.

And that made me smile too.

Week one! (we can have lots of fun!*)

My favorite part of the first week of trying to lose weight is that is always the week you lose the most! I will admit to eating my weight in cake and bread last weekend. It didn't help that I had a party to go to and there was cheese and chips and dip and lots of red wine! I won't even tell you what I ate for dinner before the party! Then I buckled down and got serious.
I measured out all my meals, I made my lunches the night before, I ate as cleanly as possible and drink one Sigg bottle an hour of water! I'm eating a lot of high fibre low sugar meals, lean protein and fruits and vegetables. I'm still having my morning coffee and I'm eating a bunch of small meals a day. The biggest help has probably been the ziplock containers I own that are 2 cups. They make bringing lunch into work so easy. I've been going for a walk every day after lunch and only taking the stairs. I even jumped on my elliptical machine this week and since it started being mild my dog got some extra long walks!
When I stepped on the scale this morning I was so happy! I know most of it's water weight BUT my scale is also one of those ones that tells your your body fat percentage and hydration level and I'd gone down three body fat points! Hooray!

4.2lbs from last week!

*Another kudo for anyone who knows what song this is from..hint the beginning isn't "week one"

In the mean time...

Tonight the Mister and I are having a wedding talk, so we shall see where that leaves me!
In the meantime.....

SHOES!!!!!!

Images from: Nordstroms, Jcrew, London Sole and Bluefly!

The best kind!

Awww ladies! Thank you for all your comments on my previous post!
Sometimes I just need to spell it out(literally) to figure things out and sometimes blogging it is like therapy, free therapy, which is the best kind!

Obviously I need to speak to the Mister and clarify what his expectations are. I know that some of his wedding hesitation is due to the economy and some of it is due to the expense and some of it is due to all our friends suddenly starting have children and him realising he's one of the oldest in our circle. When major life events start happening people tend to look at their own lives and where they are at.

I'm still going to plan my little wedding and cross my fingers and make some wishes!

It's one of those days.

*Be warned this is ranty and most likely just this side of insane*
I'm thinking of changing the name of this blog to "Flip-Flop Weddings" because right now I feel like I cannot make a decision to save my life. Every time I think I am heading in the right direction the compass tells me that it's actually the other way. Like Paula Abdul I'm two steps forward and two steps back...and I should probably be popping some Valium as well.

Today I mentioned to The Mister that I would LOVE to get married this September the weekend before our 10th anniversary. In truth the perfect time to have gotten married was two years ago when our anniversary fell on a Saturday but instead we bought a fixer upper of a house which is now keeping me from getting married this fall by needing a new roof(among other things, but Lord do not get me going about this house!) He said we could if I was willing to be "realistic" apparently I've not been living in reality. Yeah I've had a great day.
Yes I get that we could go to city hall and just have our parents and sisters there. Yes that would indeed be the cheapest option. And honest to God if he just came out and said "I do not want a wedding" then fine, ok, I could deal with it. I would give up the dream I've had for the last 8.5 years and start looking at cute city hall dresses and fascinators. It's not like it would be the first dream I gave up.
But instead I go look at venues, I get photographty quotes from up and coming photographers, I look at invitations, heck I even WIN invitations! I'm coming up with a million and one ways to have an awesome wedding that is totally "us" on a tiny budget and I seem to be the only one that wants it! Any mention of the wedding and he tells me I'm being "unrealistic" like I'm telling him about 10000 dollar gold covered cakes and diamond covered shoes and feeding everyone on lobster and foie gras!
I know that getting married is about marriage and not the wedding, I know! But I also want to celebrate with our very close friends and family, you know? I want an evening where we declare our love, say I do and then celebrate those facts with the people that love us most.

I don't think that's being "unrealistic" at all.

Ok rant over. I will return to my regular breathing schedule now.

I love Venue!*

So yesterday I went to look at the "on paper" venue. The one that I was so excited about and actually nervous about seeing! One of my Bridesmaids joined me as The Mister was at home awaiting the arrival of our new washer and dryer. The venue itself is in St.Lawrence Market, which is probably one of my favorite places to wander around. I was going in blind, hadn't seen any photos and only had a picture in my head based on what people had described to me. I took a bunch of photos and attempted to post this last night but first my camera decided to just get up and die and then my laptop decided to grieve for my camera and just be a jerk. I managed to get these two photos off the dearly departed. So for your viewing pleasure here is what I'm 99.99% sure it my venue................

It opens to the actual Market below, which on Saturday closes at 5pm. The view out those GIANT windows is of a flatiron building AND the CN Tower. It has it's own open kitchen that is pretty much my dream kitchen. Where that railing area is there are a bunch of long rectangle tables with white chairs which you can sort of see in the last picture except shorter. It's newly renovated but still has so much character! AND as my friend joked if things got really crazy we could climb down into the market and eat some cheese!! It's a blank canvas which set my artist brain in motion already I know where I would have the photobooth area, the dessert tables, the dancing! I'm already thinking about what to put on the railings! Big ribbons? floral garland? White lights? Giant helium balloons that take advantage of the soaring market ceilings!

Ok now I have to pick a date! Best part? It has no bookings yet! I get my pick!! Second best part? It's within my budget! I am over the moon!

(*Thanks to Brick from Anchorman..."I love lamp.")

OH! MY!! GAWD!!!

Today I alarmed my co-workers by squealing with joy! I might have also thrown my fists into the air and yelled "YES!"
Why?
Because today I won my very first contest! Seriously I enter contests all. of. the. time and have never won anything so when I checked my email and saw the word "winner" in an email from AmyJean aka The Relentless Bride for some reason I thought perhaps she was emailing everyone that entered! Somehow I had read her post before the contest winner was picked and the ones after but I skipped the actual post!

I'm so thrilled to win a gift certificate for Wedding Paper Divas! What's even sweeter is because our guest list is so tiny it will practically pay for ALL of our invites if I wanted it to! Crazy!

And yes I spent the last 10 minutes of my work day looking at all the pretty invites!
Tomorrow I see the potential venue, it's starting to feel like it might actually happen!

Thinking about cakes!

Nothing like following a weight loss post with one about cakes!

I'm lucky enough to know some really talented bakers and cake decorators, that cake up there? My sister decorated it, seriously! She's done quite a few cakes but this was the only one I have a photo of. She's really talented and should have her own business, even if it was on the side!

All along I've said I wanted a banana chocolate chip cake with Dulce de leche filling and buttercream icing. Buttercream icing for me it the only type of icing that should ever be on a cake.

Then I thought about how my sister and my father don't really like cake and my mother is severely allergic to dairy so buttercream icing isn't exactly something she should be eating.

I also thought about how my Nanny used to make pies and how much I loved brownies and suddenly I realised that I really needed a dessert table. I mean how could I pass up the chance to have all our favorite desserts on display for all to enjoy! We wouldn't even need large amounts because there will only be about 50 people or so!