Make it stop.

"I hate that one. It looks like a doily."

That is what The Mister said about this dress. Which is the reason men don't have the joy of wearing dresses because they don't know squat about them. They clearly should stick to suits for fancy attire.

I went out looking one last time, this time by myself. Even though I am now the owner of that dress and even though I lurve it I like to torture myself. After we bought our house I still looked at houses. I'm a sucker for punishment. Yes, yes I know, I know once you buy a dress you don't keep looking it's bad news all over. So.....I tried on this dress, what I had nothing else to do that day......

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and instantly fell in love with it, maybe because it was a lower budget version of this one. Now there would be a dilemma if this dress was in my price range and not double it, I even called a friend who talked me off my "but if I only ate ramen for the rest of the summer I could afford it" ledge. At 1600 it's pretty reasonably priced for a wedding dress in general, just not for me. I admit I came home and searched for it online to no avail she is no where that I can find on line for a fraction of her retail price. I'm trying to be all zen about it, all "well then it wasn't meant to be. everything happens for a reason." etc, etc.

I totally surprised myself by being totally "meh" about trying on dresses. I'm sure that all the sales ladies were like "WTF" because where other gals were tearing up and gushing over dresses I was like "hmm..it's pretty." I totally have wedding dress aspergers. I mean I knew I wouldn't cry over a dress(not in that way anyhow.) but I thought I would at least feel something about one of them, something that told me that it was the one. Maybe because I've heard so many women say "they just knew" when they tried in on. I didn't and something in me feels a bit cheated by it. I've tried on dresses that were the price of cars, I've tried on dresses of every single silhouette and fabric, I've tried on dresses I would never even imagine wearing...just in case I was missing something. Not one of them spoke to me. Some of them I liked more than others like this one and the one I bought but none of them told me they were mine.

I woke up this morning and sketched out my "dream dress" something I thought I knew about but until I tried on a million things knew nothing about. Honestly how does anyone find a dress when they go out looking for one thing, try on another and realises that everything they thought they wanted in a dress is a BIG FAT LIE.

I now know I want a sweetheart neckline. A neckline that before trying it on I deemed well....tacky, but once I tried it one realised that it made the most of my assets and somehow looked stunning, in the way that I want every single one of my tops to have this neckline. Seriously. Then there's the dropped waist, corsetted, modified A-line. If all those ingredients were in one dress I would scoop it up in every colour it came in no questions asked.

Which leads me to the dreaded question....do I go to a dressmaker and have this dress made? Seriously...will I end up one of those crazy brides that ends up buying like 4 dresses because she just can't make a decision? I know all the names I would name my unborn children but I cannot decide on a dress for my tiny wedding! Ugh. I could have a really simple version of what I want made and then add the floof I love after it's all done onto the bust and straps.

Oh gosh...I've created a monster.