Let there be music!

On Friday we got a registered letter in the mail confirming that we are indeed getting married on September 19th. It had some useful information (seriously that's what it said!) like we should arrive 10 minutes before our ceremony, bring two witnesses and ID and that we could bring a cd of music to play! MUSIC! OF OUR CHOICE!!!


I already know what the first song on the cd is going to be.


A string version of Morrissey's "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want"


I love this song with the lyrics but they are a touch too....maudlin for a wedding. Without lyrics and with strings it becomes incredibly beautiful and perfect.


I'll also include "Time After Time" no, not that one from the 80's that we all know and love but the older jazz standard sung here by Chet Baker. We have a version of Dusty Springfield singing it that is phenomenal.


I remember being young and thinking the Beach Boys were a lame band. Of course this had to do with my limited knowledge of them and thinking all the songs were like Kokomo or Barbara Ann. The Mister opened my ears to Pet Sounds and Smile(put out by Brian Wilson.) if you have never heard either of these albums do yourself a favor and give them a whirl. The most heartbreaking of songs though has to be "Our Prayer" to think that this is the same band that later put out the schmaltz that it Kokomo is flabbergasting. (apologies if you happen to like Kokomo.) The Beach Boys also have the song "God Only Knows" how perfect is that for a first dance?


Then some classics from MGM musicals...


"Love Is Here To Stay" sung by Gene Kelly from An American in Paris...

"All Of You" sung by Fred Astaire from Silk Stockings...

"Moon River" sung by Audrey Hepburn(who else?!) oh and "He Loves, She Loves" from Funny Face of course!


Oh and then some Big Star "I'm In Love With a Girl"

I could go on and on and on but I'll save it for another post!

I'm not sure how long to make the cd, I think I'll only need about 30 minutes but just to be safe I'll probably put about an hours worth of music on there, then when we have our reception party next year I'll already have an hours worth of cocktail music!

Two dreams...one comes true!

Last night I had my first wedding dream......

The Mister and I were in Montreal at a Marche shopping for cheese and suddenly I realise that we are suppose to get married that day! I ask for the time and it's 4pm and I know that the last civil ceremony of the day is at 4:30pm so I go "Well I guess were not getting married!"
Then suddenly I'm thinking "I don't even have a bra to wear! Oh well I just wear the one I'm wearing, even though it's dirty." I woke up and instantly thought "Oh yeah I have to buy a new bra!"

When I was a little girl I was obsessed with what is now known as the Fairmont chain of hotels. In Toronto it's the Royal York, Quebec City has the Chateau Frontenac and in Montreal the Queen Elizabeth. I don't remember who but someone told me that when Royalty comes to visit that is where they always stay! I was in awe of these hotels because they were giant beautiful old buildings that had balls for important people and in my mind were the fanciest hotels in the world. I desperately wanted to stay at them. I tried in vain to get my parents to stay in them for just one night, but we never did.

Where am I going with this? Well I have been looking for a hotel for the last week or so trying to find a good deal. For some reason Montreal is one of the more expensive cities for hotels. We got every year and every year I find a deal for a room for under a hundred dollars. We don't spend much time in the room so we don't really need to have much more than a bed and a washroom. Thing is we also tend to go during off season, so everything is cheaper.
Nothing was coming up. Or more correctly lots of horrid hotels were coming up. As much as I would love to stay in a one star hotel with reviews of dirty linens, mean staff and loud neighbours.

Then last night I was on hotels.ca and I organized my search from low to high in price and what should come up? The Fairmont Queen Elizabeth! For 95 dollars a night! It was some timed deal so we booked it right then and there!

So finally I get to stay where at one of my childhood dream hotels! Not to mention this is the hotel where John Lennon and Yoko Ono had their famous bed in! This is the hotel where they recorded "Give Peace a Chance"! Best of all were saving over 250 dollars on our stay!
That's 250 dollars I can spend on shoes!

Red shoes!

Type Z "Jade" $39.55

RSVP "Lexi" $15.62(on sale!)

Promiscuous "Celebrate" $59.00

Delman "Sema-T" $184.30(on sale, normally $354.00)

All photos and shoes from Zappos.com
All prices in USD.

After realising that my dress wasn't made of crocheted rope I instantly started focusing on accessories. Because I know I'll have a hard time finding them I started my search for the perfect red shoes. Just like finding the perfect red lipstick, finding the perfect red shoe might be a difficult task. Do I want a deep red or a bright red? I thought I was going to go with satin, but I'm also drawn to the suede shoes at the top!

I have to admit my biggest crush is on the Delman. First off they are practically 50% off, I'm not sure I could spend 354 dollars on shoes, but 184 for shoes that are worth 354 well that's a deal that I dig.

I've never bought shoes over the internet, I have a hard time buying shoes in person. My foot fits shoes from size 8 to size 10! I know most sites offer no hassle returns so that makes me feel slightly better!

Here is the Delman from the front and top, just so you can see the detail on the toe....

And I exhaled and all was well...

Funny story....

I picked up my dress and saw it for the first time since the previous posts photo was taken.
For some reason in my head I had transformed it into a thickly crocheted lace dress, probably because The Mister mentioned a doily and I started thinking about how doilies look and how thick they were and how they were never white they were always off white and I transformed that dress in my head into a sort of ropey thick crocheted thing that I was sure was going to be off white. So I was actually surprised when I pulled back the garment bag and saw that it wasn't thick crochet lace but very thin delicate silk threads that made the lace and it was diamond white. I don't know how I could mutated it in my head so badly! Oddly enough I don't think it really looks like it does in that photo! I literally sighed with relief when I saw how beautiful it was! Phew!

As both The Canadian Bride and Always a Bridesmaid commented it doesn't need any embellishment, which I knew in my heart, but when you get on Etsy you suddenly become irrational and want practically everything! I doubt I'll wear the organza lab jacket or convert it into something else. I might pick up a nice light summer cashmere sweater because it could be chilly in the evening and my body temperature is always out of whack!

The only jewellery I'm going to be wearing is going to be my Nanny's charm bracelet. I'm not sure if I'll wear it on my wrist or wrap it around my bouquet but I need her with me. It makes a lot of noise but every charm on it has a story and it was my favorite thing in the world when I was small and I'd beg her to show me the charm bracelet and tell me the stories of each charm. She gave it to me the year she died and I've never actually worn it in public, I'm terrified I'll lose it but I always knew I'd wear it on my wedding day no matter what my outfit.

I don't really wear jewellery that much, even though I do have a really amazing pink pearl necklace that I got for Christmas one year. Which was really a surprise as I had seen it in a Birks ad in the Globe and Mail and just sort of randomly pointed at it(which I do a lot!) and said "Oh that's nice!" and then completely forgot about it! I also have a silver Tiffany's bracelet but I don't really wear that either.

I'm now on the hunt for shoes, definitely coloured shoes, that's something I always wanted no matter what! I'm also thinking I may need a pair of flats for walking Montreal in, I'm determined to wear my outfit all day!

I'm thinking of making my veil/fascinator but as I said Etsy lures me with it's Siren song!

I've got two months. Plenty of time right!

I feel like there may be some voting going on though because I like opinions and sometimes I'm easily led astray!

Game changer.

I've probably mentioned it before but I LOVE Montreal. From the very first time I ever went when I was 14/15 I was smitten and have visited about once a year since then. It's "our" city, a place that is close to home but also seems worlds away and over the years we have become Montreal connoisseurs, trekking all over the city to find what we are looking for which in most cases is something edible. We routinely return home with our bags full of beers, bagels, cheeses and anything we have never seen in Ontario.

Le Cheval Blanche brewpub. Photo by me.

We visit brew pubs, bakeries, markets, churches and generally wander around in bliss. When we first got engaged we wanted to get married there but the requirements and laws sort of made it hard. You had to go in for an interview with a clerk before getting married and then they would let you know if your date and time were accepted. You could not change the date, place or time the ceremony HAD to take place when and where you said it was going to be or else! It was a lot of stress that was unnecessary.

Then I started planning something else, which as we all know didn't work out either. In fact the anxiety and misery wedding planning caused me was greater than I've ever let on here. It wasn't that I didn't know what to do or what I wanted, in fact right now I could easily plan out about 20 weddings if someone asked me to. As long as they weren't mine, it distressed me that the Mister had no interest in our wedding and I was left to do it all by myself without any feedback. I admit I was crying at work and in public, it was not a very good time for me. So I cancelled everything.

I cancelled it all and was instantly happier. Just last night a good friend even said "You know I said to my husband, haven't you noticed how much happier she is?" and he had.

So...uh...what was I talking about? Oh Montreal! This year for the first time we are going with another couple, who are excited to come with us because of our extensive knowledge and love of the city. We decided to go in September, too many festivals during the summer and the weather in September is usually always perfect.

I jokingly said to The Mister "Too bad we can't just elope then. Silly laws!" Two days later he forwarded me an email which had a bunch of attachments I opened the first one. "Dear Future Spouses" it read, "We have recently changed the laws and no longer require an interview"

Game changer! Yes there are still a bunch of rules and laws that have to be followed. We are still unsure about what were going to do. I have visions in my head of what I would want our wedding to be but I also just want to get married and get on with life, there are houses to reno and babies to be had and careers to work on. There are things that I'm not willing to wait for and things I am.

Will we elope? Were not sure yet. But it's definitely in the cards now.

Notes.

I have been keeping a little notebook so that when I think of something I can write it down. A majority of my note taking seems to happen on my commute each day. I highly recommend carrying a note book on you at all times especially if like me you are easily distracted by shiny things and instantly forget your amazing ideas!

Sometimes I write down single words, sometimes I write whole paragraphs and I have been looking at them and seeing similarities.

Here are some of my notes.

Opulent Rustic Intimate Entertaining Decadent Homey Elegant Fun Inviting

Long rectangular tables, local food served family style, vintage table linens, low over flowing centerpieces, simple homemade desserts, low lighting, vintage party games. Think about Noel Coward having a dinner party for his closest friends.

I'm slowly forming an idea. I'm trying not to be dazzled by all the amazing, lovely and stunning websites that somehow make me forget that we do have a budget(although were not sure what yet!) and that budget does not include having a team of planners come up with something really amazing. I think a lot of brides to be forget that a lot of what they see is not done by the bride alone but by a team of creative experts, yes occasionally there are some genuine DIY magical brides and I applaud them to the moon and back because by gum they are inspiring!

Things we like.

Psychedelic illustrations.

The Mister is a HUGE Beatles fan and collector and I was raised by hippies and my dad was an artist who drew some pretty weird shizz back in the late 60's(he still has all his old sketch books and theres some far out stuff!) so as I kid I have a lot of fond memories of the music and art from this period. Looking at the art of Peter Max(bottom two) and the Sesame Street Pinball Counting segment make me feel happy and think that something really amazing is about to happen.

Cancelling.

Today I cancelled our photographer, luckily we hadn't signed anything or put a deposit down yet, but she had made up a contract and only because of bad timing we weren't able to get our deposit to her. Phew.
I also cancelled the tea. I'm waiting to hear back from the catering manager to see if we lose our deposit or not. If we do lose it I will see if they can move the tea to a different date and use it for some other event.

Cancelling things made me feel a pang of sadness and admittedly I teared up a bit. Right now though, after it's all been done. I feel relieved.

On top of my health being weird right now there were other things that lead me to cancel it. Delay it, I should say. It's delayed until I feel like having it!

The fact that one of my bff's wouldn't be able to attend really stung. That the original plan was to do it this way so we could fix up the house and have a child asap. I'd rather have my house renos all done or at least most of the main floor done. I want to enter my front door and feel like I'm at home and not just in a house that has gross beige carpet and 80's wallpaper. I want to love my house and I don't. Not one bit. The fact that music and food is such a big part of our lives and we weren't going to have any dancing made me feel like puking. There wasn't going to be the banana chocolate chip cake with dulce de leche filling and buttercream icing, which is a cake we came up with several years ago as what we MUST HAVE AT OUR WEDDING. I mean we were giving up a cake that we dreamt up before we were even engaged! All the reasons I have mentioned here in my various "Oh my god what the hell am I doing?!?!?!" posts.

I feel better and happier and confident that this is the right thing to do.

Please hold.

So everything is on hold.

I'm actually really good with this. I actually feel really good about it.

With all the recent health stuff going on it seems like a smarter idea to wait and see what exactly is going on with that. These days I'm having episodes daily and adding extra stress of wedding planning just isn't worth putting myself at risk for.

Plus I recently discovered Melissa Sweet "Dora" seriously how did this dress slip by my polka dot radar?

Seriously that dress is the stuff I daydream about! Dora might just beat out the previous coveted polka dotted dress Rasharna from Maggie Sottero....

A ceremony site...

Well I think we finally might have found a place for the ceremony. Funnily enough it was sort of our first choice but we had to wait until the city got back to us and if you've ever dealt with a city employee you know that takes patience!

It's going to cost us about 325 after it's all done only because we want to have a toast and if you want to serve alcohol you have to pay an extra 110 dollars for a permit and insurance. BOO.

See that little sunroom at the bottom left corner of the house? It would be in there.

It might be blazing hot though. Which I only thought about right this second as I was just outside where it is a balmy 25degrees out and I was tres warm. BUT the garden, no wait...THE APPLE ORCHARD!!! for photos? Yes freaking please!! What makes me happy about this location too is that the room needs some sprucing up. Which means????? I get to do some little DIY projects!

Hooray!

Bored and Indifferent.

I feel like I should change the title of this blog to something like "Emotionless Weddings" or "Complaining about Weddings" something of that ilk. I read all these other blogs written by these excited brides who are all planning these lovely events and I think "Oh I wish I was doing that! I wish I was excited and giddy." because I'm not, I'm sitting here thinking about the very few things I have to do and I'm about as excited to do them as I am about painting a room. Sure picking out the colours is fun but the actual event doesn't really do it for me. I suppose it's the end result that your after right?

Thing is as I may have mentioned before I actually LOVE planning parties. I used to plan corporate parties all the time. Weddings were for me the ultimate party, the first big expression of the new couple! The chance to throw the biggest and best party of your life! Until we moved I had almost every issue of Martha Stewart Weddings every published. I had ideas coming out of my ears. I used to joke that I could plan several different weddings in an instant because I had them all up in my head just waiting to go! When I got engaged all of my friends congratulated me and then told me they couldn't wait for my wedding because it was going to be so awesome.
I have no doubt it would have been.

Now though that I have nothing to really plan or do. No venue to decorate, no linens to pick out, no music, nothing really cool to plan I feel bored and indifferent to it all. Yes I'm getting married to the man I love(even if it is in a dress that he hates.) so hip hip hooray so that's the end result.
I'm feel like there is nothing to do anymore and that all those ideas up in my head will have to continue living there.

My long weekend.

I'm still suffering some long weekend confusion...it's Tuesday but Monday? ouch.

My weekend was filled to the brim with stuff. I got up at 6:30am to go to Home Depot and get soil on sale, went to a first birthday party and ate too much fattening food, my parents came to visit, went shopping with my mother who confirmed she has wretched taste in clothing, hung out with friends and gardened. Somehow even though I packed in so much stuff it still feels like it was a short long weekend.


It has come to my attention that my mother is really gunning for a red dress. Not just any red dress either. Everyone she pulled off the rack was basically club wear suitable for someone in their early 20's. Every time I showed her something suitable and nice IE: a classic cut silk navy dress she scoffed and made up some excuse as to why she couldn't wear it. She wants something that attracts attention. Something that will get her stared at, because heaven forbid that she isn't the center of attention for one day. I on the other hand want her just to not look like an ex stripper on holiday in Vegas. I don't expect her to wear a normal mother of the bride dress because that's just not her but I'm afraid that she will venture out on her own and buy something and that something will be red and bedazzled and short.

The other thing that I started thinking of is having a dessert and punch type reception shortly after the ceremony. How does one go about inviting people to JUST the reception? Is it tacky seeing as really the ceremony is the least costly and really that is what the wedding is all about right? Inviting people to the reception but not the ceremony is really just inviting them to a party right?
What is odder? Having a reception a year later or having it closer but not inviting people to the ceremony?

You Say Tomato...

I'm just waiting for my friend to send me the photos she was able to take from the dress try outs until I tell you all about my day of being topless around strangers.

I will tell you that I tried on this Jenny Yoo but in red and instantly fell in love with it. I even was thinking about getting it in red because the colour just really looked that good on me.

I then mentioned it being red to The Mister who told me "You can't wear a red wedding dress!" Okay fine I could deal with that. Although to get the dress in white it costs 200 dollars more!! I kid you not!

Last night we were out with friends celebrating The Mister's birthday and I decided to show him the photos from the day. When it got to this one(in red) and said "I hate that one, it doesn't even look like a wedding dress." I hadn't told him that was the one I loved. I ended up in the bar of the bathroom crying and for the last 24 hours have been thinking about calling the whole thing off. Not just because he hates the one dress the fits the budget and looks amazing on me. But because I'm still(STILL!) planning this by myself and I'm just suppose to guess at what he thinks a wedding should be. Like today he again mentioned cake and I finally said "We are not having a cake and I am not wearing a real wedding dress, I want these things, but we are not having them."

So I'm sitting here thinking about what I'm going to do. I could still get my deposit back for the tea no problem and that's the only money that has been put out.

No means no...ok it really means no need to worry.

I get incredibly nervous when calling up places to make appointments. For some bizarre reason I have this fear that when I ask to book something they will tell me "NO." I know it's crazy.
I have been staring at the list of four bridal salons here in the city and one in my home town for the last few days and finally today picked up the phone and called. To my complete and utter surprise all of them in town had openings this Saturday, of course because I value my sanity I booked only two for this week and the other two for May 2nd. I figured it would be a while until I could get in to any of them, especially on a Saturday! Guess not!
I then called the one place in my home town and had the following conversation....
Me - Hi I'd like to make an appointment to try on some dresses.
Lady(with heavy stern sounding accent) - No.
Me - Ummm no?
Lady - No dear we do not make appointments. You can just come in.
Me - Ohh! So I can just walk in? Ok thank you!

Seriously when she said "No." my heart literally leaped out of my chest it was my worst fear come true! Her accent (honestly a very serious stern sounding European one!) made it sound like she was saying no to me personally! After I got off the phone I laughed and told a coworker who I had just earlier today told of my irrational fear of being told NO!

Oh it's closer than I thought.

Things to do before September 4th.

Find a dress. Should I get something made? How much will that cost? Should I buy off the rack? Should I buy something I can wear again and again? How much should I spend? Should I buy that really awesome red Nanette Lapore dress? Do I wait until I'm 10lbs lighter? AGH!

Find an officiant. Non religious. Likeable. Etc.

Find a place to hold ceremony. Seriously the few places I've found charge an hourly rate but a minimum of 3 hours...making it silly to rent for one hour. I'm going to try to work a deal since it is a Friday afternoon and all.

Figure out ceremony. Will my dad still walk me down the aisle? There has to be music! Will I still have a bridal party? If so won't it be weird to have basically no guests because they are all in our bridal party?

Flowers. OK I have this figured out...lots and beautiful.

I've already got a photographer who were meeting with next week and the reception tea booked at the Windsor Arms and will now spend the next 170 odd days growing more and more anxious that I am forgetting something very important. Like pants.

A hint.

Things are coming together......here's a hint.

Ok so it's not really a hint is it?

Wedding Discussion...a play in one act.

Act One.
Scene One.
Opens on a kitchen. Woman with glass of red wine in hand leaning against door frame looking perplexed and frustrated. Man with glass of beer leaning against counter. Looking clueless.

Woman: So I talked to the photographer I told you about and she can totally come up with a price that relates to our event.

Man:I'm not paying more for the photographer than for everything else. She only needs to take photos of the ceremony.

Woman(choking on wine.): It's our wedding! We need photos!!!

Man:I know but negotiate. I say we pay no more than 700 dollars. It only makes sense.

Woman(gulping back wine and reaching for more.):How does that make sense?!?!

Man:Well if Saturday costs 1500 dollars for 6 hours then Friday should be less than half that.

Woman:I am not skimping out on the photos when I am skimping out on everything else!

Man:You won't even negotiate!

Woman(Wishing she had more red wine, perhaps an I.V full of it.) The only thing that matters to me more than the whole married bit is the documentation of it.

Let's just say that one of us has artistic vision. The other freely makes fun of artists.

Beauty inspired by beauty*

If you haven't taken a gander over at 100 Layer Cake then I suggest you get your over there now!

Every post makes my heart pitter patter a bit more. It's beautifully curated, I tried to think of a different word but it really does seem like a well curated collection.

This inspiration board is perhaps what I've been waiting for, not just for my wedding but for my home and well... my whole life! It makes my mind reel with possibilities. A cream dress with seafoam shoes, bridesmaids in terracotta and rose boys in ink with seafoam ties.

These flowers...

Yes sir I'm in lurve. Now we just have to agree on that pesky date thing.

(* Inspired by Kittens Inspired by Kittens..go watch it now!)

BEST MONDAY EVER!

Normally I hate Mondays. Mondays means I'm as many days possible away from the weekend.
blah.
This Monday though is totally going down in the books as the BEST MONDAY EVER!
Today I found out that not only am I getting a raise but I'm also getting a bonus!
I seriously thought about dropping to my knees and weeping with joy but instead I looked at wedding and food blogs and various other pretty websites that may or may not have contained shoes.

Honestly I didn't expect either. In this economy I am just happy to have a job to show up to every day when so many people don't.

In wedding news: We're still hashing out the details but we MAY have a date and a plan. This is the way we are. We talk then go and think about it separately then come back to the table and talk some more. There are pros and cons to our plan and we(ok I) have to make sure that I am happy that the pros out weigh the cons.

The Goldilocks of Venues

Bah! For some reason my drafts are not being saved! Grrr.

Lately I've been feeling a bit like the Goldilocks of venues.
Too BIG!
Too small!
Too expensive!

I'm waiting to hear back from a place that I think might be my "just right" so I can go and take a gander. Verbally it sounds like the place of my dreams! It's actually in a building that I know and love, it's recently renovated, reasonably priced, allows us to bring in our own booze, is centrally located and the views! One side looks down into one of my favorite Toronto places and the other, well the other looks out onto the city. I'm basically in love with it before even seeing it. Which I know is bad, because if I hate it I will be so sad. It always sucks when you find out your crush is a big fat jerk! You know?

Nothing can move forward until I have a venue!

And since I'm talking about venues...Ever since I started reading wedding blogs I've started to have the sneaking suspicion that I am the only person in the world that doesn't know someone who owns a farm, ranch, mansion, retreat, magical forest where I can have my wedding.
Seriously!