Carte Blanche!

I don't think I've mentioned yet how The Mister has given me carte blanche in regards to our wedding. What I decide though seems to have some affect on other aspects of our lives though.
It's hard for me to decide on what I want without wondering how that choice is going to affect the other things. It's doubly hard when I know that I would be happy with a small backyard wedding just as much as I would be happy with a big dinner and dancing wedding.

I do know a few things for sure though which instantly limit the options.

1. We have a small budget. A budget that is about half of what the city average is. I plan on using my skills as a crafty mofo to keep certain things on budget and put our personal touch to the whole shindig.
2. We want a venue where we can bring our own booze in. We are admitted beer snobs, we have a beer cellar..yep beer cellar. We have use a beer broker to get imported beers that are not available in the liquor store. I'm also getting more into wine these days and adding some of those to the cellar.

We live in a major city. A city where the average cost per person is 200-300 dollars per person according to the interwebs. Lucky for us the most we would invite would be 75 people and that is including people that might just "have" to be invited to save face and most likely wouldn't show. Which brings a problem with finding a venue that can host a small gathering. Some places that I thought were perfect require a minimum number of guests usually around 100. There are several heritage sites that are absolutely beautiful but then you read the fine print and see that their approved caterers which you have to use charge you an extra 15% heritage tax on top of everything. These things add up fast.

I'll talk about being a beer snob in another post. It's actually funny being a girl who knows more about beer than most people. I've always been a bit of a food and drink snob though so obviously that's an aspect of finding a venue that I need to look at.

I am feeling generally overwhelmed by the task at hand. Other than budget I have no direction to go on which leaves me with many options and I think using my usual method of decision making IE: Ennie Meenie just wouldn't work that well!

3 minute photos!

So after nine years how does someone propose? I mean it's not really going to be a surprise is it? Not long after we moved in together (just 7 months after meeting!) we started talking about getting married. Now at the time I was obsessed with opals and was convinced that I wanted an opal engagement ring. If The Mister was smart he would have hightailed it into the nearest jewellery store and bought me a nice big opal, because once I actually entered a jewellery store and looked at all the pretty sparkly things and the sales assistant let me try on the biggest diamond in the store I was instantly converted to diamonds. I suddenly got what all the fuss was about! So how did we end up not getting engaged for nine years? Well you'd have to ask The Mister about that! More importantly though how did it happen?

A bit of back story....The Mister used to dj at a popular club every Saturday night, so for 4 or so years of our relationship I was a Saturday night widow. Meaning that I attended most friend group gathering solo for a long time. So when he finally stopped djing one of the things I was happiest about was finally having a date for friend get togethers. So when an invite went out for a fall BBQ gathering I was excited to go because the friends hosting also just happen to have an adorable 5 month old baby boy. The day of The Mister told me he wasn't going as he had some errands to run. I was miffed to say the least. I got to our friends house and told them The Mister was running errands and might join us later. It was a good, fun shin dig full of good friends and yummy food and good drink. Around 8:45pm he called me and said he was downtown meeting another friend of ours and that I should go meet him. WHAT? I was having a perfectly good time at the party and why didn't he just come there? I told him just that and said I'd talk to him later.
He called back at 9pm and asked me again to come meet him this time at a bar we both like, fine I figured I could meet him there and then we could go home. I told him I'd meet him at 9:30.
At 9:45 he called me again and I shushed my friends and pretended I was in a cab on my way! As soon as I got off the phone I called a cab and complained about him not coming to the party and how I had to go meet him. A friend joked that he was going to propose and I laughed. Honestly though I knew.
The whole cab ride I thought "Hows he going to do it?" he'd told me many times that he's known how he was going to propose for years. I was meeting him at Toronto Union Station and we would walk over to the bar we liked after a game of pinball.
I walked into the station and he said "We should go get new photo booth photos for our frame"
Oookay.
He wanted to go first and he got in and I fiddled with the curtain and he snapped "don't touch the curtain!" that was when I knew. As he took photos in the photo booth I took photos of myself with my cellphone.
He came out and we waited for the photos. He seemed really nervous and asked how long the photos took, should they take this long? Finally they popped out and I carefully took them out and looked at them.

There in each frame was my man looking very serious holding a sign up...
Will
You
Marry
Me?

I looked up and he was on one knee with a ring box. He repeated his offer out loud and I kept saying "really?" I think I said it about 85 times even after the ring was on my finger! I couldn't believe it! Then our loan witness, a security guard, gave us a round of applause and we both started laughing.
We ran and caught the train home and the whole way I kept staring at my finger and trying not to shout "OH MY GOD I'M ENGAGED!" at a train full of strangers! My ring is a cushion cut diamond surrounded by smaller diamonds in a setting that is sort of a modern art deco design. A friend our ours who is a jeweller made it. I knew The Mister would do good but I didn't realise just how good!

The Mister told me he looks so serious in the photos because he was so nervous that he wouldn't get the signs in the photo that he forgot to smile! How cute it that!


ps..I have my first follower! Hi Katie!

I hate winter but it sure is pretty.

Frozen Lake Ladylike by somethingweddings


Right now according to the Weather Network it feels like -23C outside(5F for anyone who doesn't do the Metric system.) I can honestly say I am not a big fan of winter. Nope not one bit. I hate being cold and because I'm anemic it seems to take me longer than the average bear to get warm again. My nose instantly runs the second I step outside and no matter how hard I try I cannot keep my scarf in a place that doesn't create a weird micro climate on my face. Blah. I do however appreciate the beauty of winter, piles of snow, clear inky Sky and the way the light seems to be filtered and soft. I like winter beauty best when snuggled up in a duvet by a far dressed head to toe in thermal wear!

I have heard though that winter months are the months for discounts in the world of weddings. I'm not sure how true this is but it makes sense that a wedding in January right after the holiday rush would be a way to work some sweet deals. If I got married next winter I'd have to hunt down a venue with a fireplace or a view of a frozen lake. I'd want comfort food, a warm soup, butternut risotto come to mind. I'd serve hot drinking chocolate and tell people to bring their ice skates (and have extras on hand) to have a group skate while roasting marshmallow on a bonfire. I would base the colours on the frozen lake I remember from when I was a child. Dark Navy, with frosty white, gray and silver with a bit of pink in there as a surprise. Because everyone likes seeing a bit of colour in the winter months.

I'm married to my money.

I have a secret. I'm not good with money. Never have been. My parents weren't either so I really had no one to learn from since my dad is often heard saying that his financial plan is "If you got it spend it." not that I'm blaming my parents for my current financial woes, I blame them for so many other of my flaws that adding that one just seems silly. I'm not in the cess pool of debt that other people my age seem to be but I am in enough that it makes me anxious when I get a bill. So this year I have decided is they year I cut my debt in half. It wasn't exactly a New Years resolution more of a conscious decision to own up to what I owe.

So I decided to make a budget. Something I've done in the past but have not really taken seriously. I have been known to justify things by thinking "Well I'm just going to end up buying it later anyways." or "If I don't buy it now it might not be here later." I also use my debit card for most things and then suddenly I take a gander at my bank balance and go "where did it all go?"
I wrote down all the things I HAD to buy each month and then gave myself a rather generous allowance for other things and then tallied it all up and found that I should have quite a nice little chunk of change left over. A chunk of change that could very well be used to pay down some of my debt on top of what I already am paying. A chunk of change that I've been previously spending on things like Starbucks, magazines, random thing I don't even remember that's how much I needed them and couldn't live without them! I could save a chip of that chunk and put it to the side for ohhh I don't know a wedding or something like that!

So I made some rules based on various financial advice that I've read and been told over the years.

The Rulz:

1) Cash only for everything.
2) Cash comes from what it was allotted in the budget for IE: No dipping into grocery money to top up the clothing allowance.
3) Take 90% of left over money and put it towards debt.
4) Anything not spent at end of the month from budget add to savings.
5) Keep all receipts and log all purchases so I can see where every penny is going.

Simple right? Honestly I think #2 will be the hardest for me. I think I'm going to have to really start thinking hard about how badly I need things now compared to how badly I want things in the future. Saving money now will make a difference in the future and that is what I need to focus on ultimately the bigger picture is what is more important. BUT I also have to remind myself that getting out of debt and saving up some extra is not punishment, I still can go out with friends because I have budgeted for it but if I blow the whole entertainment budget in one night then that's my fault and I can at least say I had one really terrific night right?
I'm going to treat my money like I'm in a relationship with it and that relationship needs to work for both of us and build us stronger over time right?

Cast your vote!

Recently I went out to look for a new winter jacket. I couldn't decide between two(a gray one and a shorter red one.) so I had my friend take a photo of each to show the Mister. Then I thought to myself "I'm just going to put them on my Facebook and let my friends vote" Now I thought maybe of my Facebook friends would see the "Vote On A Coat" album and comment. Turns out people love voting! By the end of the day I had about 20 or so votes. Almost all of them for the gray one!
Although I have to admit that I'm in love with both of them and the more I think about it the more I want them both for different reasons. In fact I have already envisioned all the cute outfits I could wear with them!

It got me thinking about how I'm so bad at decision making that I am known to regularly use the ennie meenie method to choose! Yes I know it's childish but sometimes I want two things equally so random choice is the best method AND if what I land in makes me feel sad then I go with the other one. Yes I'm secretly 6 years old.

Then I thought about how there are so many wedding things that I adore. So many things that don't mesh together well..how does one pick?! As much as I love total control over things, I also love letting others do all the hard thinking. Would I let strangers pick my wedding details? I'm not sure but if I couldn't decide between two things I might use the public voting system again.
It's only slightly more(hmm or less?) embarrassing then chanting and pointing frantically while I do an ennie meenie in public!

Gosh my lips are chapped!

For some bizarre reason my lips are incredibly chapped right now. In fact they are not even chapped and flaky, they almost feel burned...perhaps wind burned? They are really weirdly smooth but also incredibly painful. I've been applying industrial strength blistex and some medicated lip balm for "extremely dry lips" which smells strangely like Vicks vapour rub. Which reminds me of a funny story from when the Mister and I had just started dating and he was down for the weekend and I was sick and when I get really ill I bundle myself up in multiple layers, hide under blankets drinking copious amounts of "Hot Lemon Drink" which is the store brand of Neo Citron that I always get because I like saying I'm having a "Hot Lemon Drink"...so I'm in bed wearing thermal underwear, a turtle neck, a wool sweater, a pair of flannel pants, two pairs of wool socks, fingerless winter mittens and a hat (I'm a firm believer in "sweating it out") and the Mister is arrives and hugs me and says "I really like the perfume your wearing" and I'm all "really? are you joking?" and he says "No..what is it? It reminds me of something...from when I was little." and I started laughing and told him it was Vicks! Who would have thought! I guess it probably triggers a memory of being taken care of when ill!

I'm cursing myself because I know that on my desk at work is my Smiths Rosebud Salve. Just the word "salve" makes my lips feel better! It treats minor burns! AND diaper rash! It's pretty much just some old school salve for whatever ails you! I'm kind of big on beauty products. My bathroom is an explosion of jars and tubes for various things. Right now off the top of my head I can tell you that I have 5 different facial cleansers in there. I have one that's a facial milk that I use as soon as I get home to get rid of makeup and "surface impurities" it's thick like a cream and you smooth it on and wipe it off with tissues. Sort of like cold cream. I have a cleanser for when my face is incredibly dry and one for when it's oily and freaking out from hormones that leave me with acne that makes me look like I'm 14 again. My skin has never really figured out that I have made it out of high school it goes from alabaster to pizza pie seemingly over night. I have never found one thing that seems to be able to make it stay one way..preferably the alabaster since I really have had enough of the pimples!

Like a borrowed sweater.

Fall in love. by somethingweddings

Autumn hands down is my favorite season. It's also the season that the Mister asked me to be his girlfriend and 9 years later his wife. But I favored it far before then. Fall was when school started and for me that meant new clothes! Every year I thought "This year I am going to wear the outfit that changes my life" I knew the power of a good look at a very young age.

My sisters favorite colour growing up was always purple, which is funny because I don't recall her having too many purple things. I think she just liked the way the word sounded! I could never settle on just one favorite.
Chocolate brown came into rotation sometime in my late teens, it's sort of stuck around since then. Orange, brown and purple to me are the perfect fall colours. Autumn broken down to it's simpliest palette.

The feeling would be warm and cozy. I'd probably have something hand knit, cozys for whatever is holding the centerpieces or even if I was ambitious and really productive table runners or a little shall for every lady! Oh the way my mind wanders when given unlimited amounts of cash and time! I'd want everyone to feel like they entered a magical space where something extraordinary was bound to happen.